"Leave me here in my Stark Raving, Sick, Sad, Little World"

So I finally set up an appointment to get my half sleeve tattoo started on my left arm. I got a tattoo there when I was 15 or 16 and now I hate it, so it's getting covered. Thankfully it's very small and light so it will be simple to cover. It's going to be a black sheep with a broken/torn heart above it. All around it there are going to be bombs dropping and in the background there will be the outline of a destroyed city, The tattoo artist is in the process of drawing it up for me and my appointment is on the 15th. He thought the concept was cool and he seemed pretty excited about it. The hard part is that it will take multiple appointments, and we have to wait at least two weeks between each appointment so that it heals properly, so I know I am going to get anxious to have it done. It will be worth the wait though. It will be my biggest tattoo, and I am glad it's going to be something original. This week I am also dying my hair green again. It's just fun to be girlie every now and then.

I don't really have much to say to be honest. This is pretty much just a fluff blog. My hands just want to write, and I like the sound of the keys.....

If you like my blogs you might want to check out my friend Alan's page! He's new to Mindsay and I told him what a great site it is so check him out!

Click Me

Ah, these damn internets. Sorry I haven't been on again, I just haven't had anything to say. I still don't, more or less. But then do I ever really say anything anyway?

Last Friday was a very strange day indeed. I woke up and took Aaron to work as normal, got home and smoked some weed, and was just sitting around watching something on my computer when my phone rang. It was my dad and he said that I needed to check the mail because he had sent me a letter. So I went out to the mail box and found a letter from him and opened it. As I unfolded the piece of paper a check appeared. My dad will randomly send me like 200 dollars, so I was thought "nice:" and looked at the check. I wonder what my face looked like when I looked at the amount and saw that it was for 10,000 dollars. Talk about surprised. I called him immediately to thank him, of course, even though I had no clue what to say. A mere "thank you" seemed drastically insufficient! But that's not the only reason the day was so strange. A couple hours after this happened I was playing a game and I went to smoke a cigarette at the computer. My bunny cage is right next to the couch so I looked down to pet R-Chan and there he was, ears askew and eyes wide open, lying on his side, dead. The little fucker just keeled over and fucking died. I have no clue what was wrong with him, he was fine that morning, but I guess that happens with rabbits. It was fucking sad. He was such a funny little guy, but such is life and death. It was just a strange day.

I am a lucky girl. It was really nice of my dad to do that. He said in the letter that they he had gotten an inheritence from my grandmother who passed away last year and he wanted to share it with my brother, sister and I. It came at a good time as well, I haven't been working for awhile so I hadn't been able to contribute financially. Aaron has been really patient about paying for everything for the last four months, but it was getting pretty tight. But now I can return the favor! And I want to call the community college and see if they offer any classes during the summer, and see what is available. I really think going back to school would help immensely with the way I feel. And now I can pay to have my treadmill moved to the apartment and start walking again. We left it at my mom's house when we moved out because it was too heavy for the two of to get up the stairs at our apartment building, so I haven't been getting much exercise. I just hate going to the gym where there are people. and I used to walk in our old neighborhood, but now we live downtown where also there are people, so I hadn't been doing it. Being in better physical shape definitely makes a difference in how I feel mentally. On that note both Aaron and I are also going to get on Chantix to quit smoking. After years of chain smoking and the damage to my lungs from meth use, my body will feel so much better. I am excited to get healthy again.

Now I just have to figure out what to do for Aaron for his birthday. I know I am going to get him a nice present but I am thinking maybe I should take him to the strip club as well. What straight guy wouldn't want some titties rubbed on their face for their birthday right? Plus it would be pretty hot to watch him get a lap dance or something. Or maybe a concert or something would be better? I don't know, anyone have any suggestions?

Since I don't think that the Pooh worships Satan video was working let's try this instead.....

I laughed so hard the first time I saw this that tears came out of my eyes. But then again, I'm kind of weird so you may or may not like it. But I digress.....

CLICK ME

I love you because you love me just how I am. You love me even though I am flawed and broken. You hold me and make me feel...perfect...safe...wanted...You make me feel like nothing in the world matters except you and I. Nothing exists but us.and the world we create....TOGETHER.

I don't belong anywhere, yet when I am in your arms I feel like I am exactly where I am suppose to be. Far from the pain and harsh realities of the world. Away from the years of hurt, the memories that haunt my dreams. You chase the evil away and fill me with hope. You give me a reason to wake up and live through the day and all that it brings. Knowing that I can face everything with you makes it bearable.

You are amazing and precious. You are the sliver of sanity in the madhouse. Your hands against my skin, you touch more than my flesh, you reach inside of me and pull into my existence.

These silly words are not doing the job they were intended to. There's nothing meaningful enough in the English language to describe how I feel about you, how you make me feel, and how I feel about being with you. I would use every word in the dictionary to explain, but it would still come up....lacking.

I love you.

Happy 4 year Anniversary to my sister and her wonderful gf Angie! That's my sister Mindy on the right! *love my family* 

Went out with my mom for her 50th b-day and got drunk, Came home to the man I love. Went outside and saw the lunar eclipse with him. Came back inside and snorted some K.

I don't see what the big deal about special K is. I just feel mildly sick and it's hard to pay attention to anything. I mean it's kind of fun, but there many drugs I would choose over this. But I'm glad I tried it at least. And hey, for once my fucking teeth don't hurt.

Music is really good right now. Ear candy.

I bought two dollar cigarettes. They taste like ass, but hey they were cheap so I don't mind.

I love blogging when I am on drugs. Nothing makes sense in this crazy world anymore anyway.

Reality is for people who can't handle drugs, and drugs are for people who can't handle reality.

So talk to me people.

*Giggle*

I wanted to post this as a blog so that you can actually see my piercings and the tattoo on my chest. Yeah, I'm a photowhore, hate me.